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Why is it so hard and what to do about 

I thought I was good at setting boundaries. Lately, though, I found myself struggling more than usual with them. I said yes to a coffee with an old classmate even though I did not want to go. I did not tell my nanny that being late every day was not ok. I carried my 15-kilos daughter for half an hour yesterday because she did not want anyone else.

Why do we find boundaries so hard?

When we set boundaries, we say no to the things we do not want to do. We also tell people what’s not ok for us. The most common reasons we fail to do this have more to do with us than with others:

  • We care about what other people think. I was about to decline the request from my classmate when a friend said that he never refuses requests from alumni of the same promotion. That was his rule. His comment was enough to make me think that it would be rude of me to say no.

  • We are afraid of the consequences. We often do not set boundaries with our boss or clients becau...

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